Pack extra socks.

I whine as soon as the temperature dips below 70, and yet I'm counting the minutes until Quebec's Ice Hotel re-opens so I can spend a regret-filled night shivering on a bed of deer pelts. The hotel is carved from ice every year and stays open from January through April, when it melts. I don't know if I'm more attracted to the transience and imminent destruction, or the vodka bar. I mean, they serve drinks in ice shot glasses!

Keep in mind, this is more of an experience than a hotel. Rooms start at $200 per person -- check their site for early-booking discounts -- but for the five-star price, you're getting communal bathrooms, a partially frozen staff, and a thermostat that's stuck at 25 degrees. (Thanks, nature.) If you must be pampered, maybe skip the overnight stay; day tours are available for $15.

Get ready to relax, or not.

I'm obsessed with Rio de Janeiro because it has two of my favorite beach bonus features: topography and overcrowding. Seriously, as much as I love a nice secluded beach, I kind of love battling for an empty patch of sand. Ipanema Beach has chilly water and rough currents, but the view makes up for it. (Besides, Rio's other popular beach is Copacabana, and if we're talking about beaches that inspired songs, "Girl from Ipanema" is the clear winner.) Rooms at the Best Western Sol Ipanema start at $150 USD for a double with breakfast included. Except to pay waaaaay more during Carnival, and don't bother waiting for low season -- the hottest month is February, but it only beats the dead of winter by seven degrees.

Aurora or bust.

I'm obsessed with the Northern Lights. I've read the scientific explanation a few thousand times, but it makes zero sense to me and frankly, I don't really care. It's pretty. The lights are most visible between October and April; for the best chance of viewing, shack up as close to the Arctic Circle as possible. And since the lights aren't exactly reliable, may I suggest Iceland? At least you won't be bored and freezing if Aurora Borealis goes on break.

We could go down to the harbor.

One good reason to go to Newport: By now, the store at left is probably closed, so you won't have to encounter the scary mannequins. Two more: Glitz and chowder. The glitz is found at the mansion tours (the Marble House is especially gaudy and fantastic.) The chowder is found anywhere near the harbor.

Thames Street is the only place to stay, and I say that with complete knowledge that Middletown is totally convenient and far cheaper. But the nightlife there consists of a Chili's and a Walgreen's, so stick with downtown Newport. I would sleep at the Red Parrot if they let me, but it's not a hotel, so they won't. The grand Hotel Viking, a few blocks off the harbor, will. (If you go to their webpage, turn the volume down or you'll regret it.) Their rack rates are $300 and up, but you can usually find rooms on Expedia for less than $200. If you're not having luck, try the nearby America's Cup Inn -- rooms are $179. A lot of them suffer from a serious case of ugly, but Room 305 lacks the floor-to-ceiling floral effect.

Not another shipwreck.

Jason Taylor is a sculptor and a dive instructor, which explains why he took his latest masterpieces and dumped them in the bottom of Grenada's Moliniere Bay. The result: Either the artsiest snorkeling trip you'll ever take, or the strangest art gallery you'll ever visit. In shallow water about two miles north of St. George's, the underwater sculptures are affected by everything from light refraction to coral colonization. On a narcissistic level, my favorite is "The Lost Correspondent"; otherwise I'd vote for "The Un-Still Life."

By the way, Grenada is in low season like the rest of the soggy Caribbean -- but it's located below the hurricane belt, so the sun is usually shining. I need to book a flight yesterday.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Maybe it's because I don't have air conditioning, but I've been doing a lot of fantasizing about Alaska lately. Mostly I've been drooling over pics of Glacier Bay National Park, an amazing system of mountains, fjords, lakes and (duh) glaciers. Since it's 65 miles fro the nearest interstate -- aka Juneau -- it's only accessible by plane or boat. And I sure as hell am not about to land a puddle-jumper on that giant ice cube. Luckily, a lux cruise ship totally counts as a boat. Most of Princess Cruises' Alaskan routes dock at Glacier Bay for nine or ten hours; you can get an oceanview cabin for as little as $699 in August. (Cruises are almost always cheaper at the last minute.) They don't sail from October through March, so get moving.

This place exists.

Pictures of Zion National Park always look retouched, because it's hard to believe that something like this photo can actually just happen without any sort of digital manipulation. But, of course, it does look like this, and you owe it to the world to go see it. Especially since it's dirty-cheap. Entrance to the park only costs $25 for a week-long vehicle pass, so you'll have plenty of time to see it all. (Okay, so maybe that's not true. But you will have plenty of time to do enough hiking to deplete a year's supply of Advil.)

The Driftwood Lodge, two miles from the park entrance, has deluxe queen rooms for only $119 in the summer. But my money's on the Cliffrose Lodge and Gardens -- $139 for a king, 200 yards from Zion, with a waterfall jacuzzi. Pop some ibuprofen and meet me there.

My heroine!

I am obsessed with Amsterdam, not for its brown cafes or Red Light District, but because I absolutely must see the annex where one of my all-time favorite books was written. Obviously I'm talking about Anne Frank, but not the version we all read in middle school, which was heavily edited by her father to fit the stardards of decency in the '50s. I'm talking about the fabulous unabridged Definitive Edition, wherein Anne rails against her housemates, lusts after Peter, and is generally bored with attic life. Oh, and she's actually funny. Read it again, I'm serious. Anyway, the Anne Frank Huis on Prinsengracht just got better, with the addition of extra family letters and photos courtesy of Anne's cousin Buddy Elias. The museum is open all year (with later hours in the summer) and costs only 7.50 Euro for admission.

Check back for a post on Amsterdam lodging...