Positively ravaged.

It's always nice when a hurricane misses -- for obvious reasons, of course, but also because you get the same pristine beach resort at crazy low rates. Tulum is already back in biz after Hurricane Dean, and you can score a cabana at the cute La Zebra for $100/night. Rooms are simple, but think "boutique," not "shack." The new-ish cantina serves up charcoal-grilled meals, and they even have wi-fi. Might as well stick around until December.

Sand on the brain.

Maybe it's because my beachy Sunday was rained out, but I can't stop dreaming about tropical hideaways. The emphasis is on "hide" at Bahia de la Luna in Nowheresville, Mexico. (More specifcally, the beach town of La Boquilla in Oaxaca; the website has helpful tips on how to find the place.) You can drive 40 minutes to enjoy civilization with other tourists, or you can just hang out and borrow the free kayaks and snorkel gear. The restaurant is under a palapa on the sand, but you can still get sashimi and ceviche. And even though your beach hut may be a tad rustic (right), it's only $77 for a double -- $65 if you go during low season. Not a bad deal.

Better than Six Flags!

I don't understand why theme parks around here don't look anything like Xcaret Eco Theme Park in Playa del Carmen. I guess rollercoasters are fun in their own way -- except for the nausea -- but can we discuss the total superiority of this place? You can snorkel a coral reef, snooze on the beach, relax in a lagoon, swim in an underground river, take a snuba tour, see a rodeo, swim with dolphins...you get the point. Plus they have all sorts of awwww-inspiring animal exhibits. And it's only $53 to get in ($80 extra if you want to bond with Flipper).

Shoes.

These may be the cutest sandals I've ever seen. Or maybe I'm just blinded by the $11 price tag. Either way, you'd better believe that the Kino Sandal Factory on Fitzpatrick is going to be my first stop in Key West. Well, maybe my third; conch fritters and a margarita will have to take top priority. But then, the sandals.

Wigging out.

Ever wanted to sleep in a wigwam? Neither have I. But you have to admit that these wigwam motels are way cooler than your average Econolodge. Apparently this used to be a booming chain in the heartland, but all that remains are locations on Route 66 in Southern California, near Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, and near who knows what in Holbrook, Arizona. The prices are pretty retro -- A/C and a "remote color cable TV" for $45-80/night, depending on location.

Fly away with me.

In about 15 minutes, the grass-skirted man of questionable sobriety will ride this Purple People Eater off a pier and plunge into the chilly Baltimore Harbor thirty feet below. As far as free entertainment goes, it really doesn't get much better. Last October's Flugtag -- a Red Bull-sponsored event in which participants vie for the chance to pilot doomed human-powered flying machines -- was so fantabulous that I briefly considered driving out to Nashville for the June '07 event. (Among other highlights, a family shoved its matriarch off the pier facedown, whereupon she executed the most painful and presumably unintentional belly-flop in history. Woohoo!) But this may be one of those things where you benefit from the element of surprise (and horror, and pity). The ongoing event stops in Austin on August 25th; check the website for location updates.

All this rain makes me want vino.

The nasty weather on the East Coast today is reminding me of Sonoma, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Last time I was there, we were chased out of our wine tastings by mudslides -- luckily not before we had a chance to stop at Benziger Family Winery, a biodynamic farm with a fabulous and cheap tractor tour ($10). They even provide wool blankies if it's rainy and freeeeezing. My favorite tidbit: In lieu of icky pesticides, they breed bug-eating bugs to kill off the plant-eating bugs. My favorite grape: The 2004 North Coast Sauvignon Blanc. My favorite gadget: GPS, which is nice when the roads you know are flooded.

$1000 or Less: Honolulu

The world's most isolated city is known for its mai tais, ahi, outriggers, surfers, white sand beaches, luaus, and a price tag that'll leave you with post-aloha depression. But here's a secret: You don't actually have to stay at the Four Seasons and eat at Roy's every night. Honest. No one will chastise you for crashing wherever the sheets are clean and chowing on plate lunches and Spam. Here's how to get there (and back, if you must) for a grand.

FLY: From LA to HNL for $300.

STAY: For 4 nights at Honolulu's Hawaiiana Hotel, the bastion of old-fashioned aloha. That means fresh pineapple on arrival, Kona coffee every morning, and free umbrellas if it rains. The rooms are extremely basic, but why are you in your room?! The shops along Beachwalk are right outside your door; Waikiki beach (in front of the uber-ritzy Halekulani Hotel) is a long-ish block away. Suck it up, because rooms start at $125.

EAT: Plate lunches ($6), North Shore shrimp trucks ($11), malasadas ($2), Zippy's, and the food court at International Marketplace.

DO: Snorkel at Hanauma Bay Preserve ($5), hike Diamond Head ($5-ish), visit Pearl Harbor (free!), take a group surf lesson ($40), get a mai tai at the Mai Tai Bar at the Royal Hawaiian ($9), or do absolutely nothing at all.

J'aime Montreal!

To quote Mallrats, I love the smell of commerce in the morning. Thus my fascination with Montreal's underground city, which lets visitors keep shopping in the most vicious of wintry weather. Why curl up by a fireplace (so cliche) when there are 1,700 warm, dry boutique stores beneath your feet? But now there's actually a reason to visit in the milder temps -- Tourisme Montreal is offering a sweet half-off deal for the third night of a stay between now and October 15th. A bunch of downtown hotels are participating, but I've got my eye on the Hotel Place d'Armes in Old Port, because 'tis important to stay within stumbling distance of nightlife when you plan to experience the joie de ivre. No, that's not a typo. Rooms start at $191/night, so if you stay three nights, it averages out to $159/night -- not too shabby for a four-star.

Pod People

The hotel selection in NYC generally falls into one of two categories -- "overpriced" or "stank" -- so I love the new Pod Hotel on 51st Street between 2nd and 3rd Aves. The rooms are freakishly small (hence the name), but the prices are also freakishly low, considering every room has a clean bed, an iPod dock, and an LCD TV. Queen and double rooms get their own private bath; single and bunk rooms have to share with the neighbors. Whatever -- it's only a few bucks more than a hostel. Even on the 4th of July, singles are $99/night and a queen is $169. It's not convenient to much of anything, but my wallet just doesn't care. Metrocard will save the day!