Not another shipwreck.

Jason Taylor is a sculptor and a dive instructor, which explains why he took his latest masterpieces and dumped them in the bottom of Grenada's Moliniere Bay. The result: Either the artsiest snorkeling trip you'll ever take, or the strangest art gallery you'll ever visit. In shallow water about two miles north of St. George's, the underwater sculptures are affected by everything from light refraction to coral colonization. On a narcissistic level, my favorite is "The Lost Correspondent"; otherwise I'd vote for "The Un-Still Life."

By the way, Grenada is in low season like the rest of the soggy Caribbean -- but it's located below the hurricane belt, so the sun is usually shining. I need to book a flight yesterday.

$1,000 or Less: Aruba

It's hurricane season, my favorite time of year to take dirt-cheap Caribbean vacations. Aruba jumps on the low-season bandwagon every summer, but I still don't know why. This is an island that gets three inches of rain in its wettest month (December) and has a four-degree deviation between the middle of summer and the dead of winter. There's no such thing as low season here. So visit now -- while they're pretending the weather sucks -- and use the money saved on a Balashi.

NYC to AUA: $375 (Delta flies direct; from Philly, try US Airways)

HOTEL: Three nights at the Amsterdam Manor Beach Resort, above. If you can handle walking across a teeny street to Eagle Beach, it's one of the best deals on the island. A studio runs $159/night between April and December, and the decor is simple and inoffensive (no beachy-neon bedspreads). Order a rum something-or-other from the Tropical Beach Bar, dine on the sand at Passions, or get a quick bite at Mango's open-air restuarant. Or cook for yourself, since every room has a kitchenette.

EAT: If you love meat, do yourself a favor and eat a ton of it at Amazonia (near Palm Beach). For around $35, you'll get rodizio-style service until you beg them to stop. Mmm. By the way, chicken tastes so much better when it's wrapped in bacon. For a really cheap meal, grab a bag of plantain chips at any convenience store, or visit a roadside stand and try a meat- or fish-filled pastechi (usually around $2).

DO: Nothing. That's the specialty here. Or, if you must, spring $15 for a tube ride from one of the beach vendors. But don't put any faith in their safety measures. It's not a thrill ride unless you can actually get severly injured.

TOTAL: $904. Spend the rest on all the meals I overlooked in my churrascaria daze.

Swizzle in, swagger out.

I think Bermuda's reputation as the stuffy counterpart to the Caribbean is a little bit unfair. For starters, Bermuda shorts are totally fun. I dare you to disagree. And consider their national drink: the rum swizzle, a mix of black seal rum, barbados rum, OJ, pineapple juice, grenadine, bitters and lime. Yum. The Swizzle Inn, with locations on the South Shore and Bailey's Bay, is the best spot to drink as many as you can handle (check their logo, above). They even offer a jug for $22.75 -- come on, how stuffy is that? And since Bermuda's chichi cuisine can drain your wallet, it's important to know that you can get bangers and mash here for $14.75. Yum again.