It's hurricane season, my favorite time of year to take dirt-cheap Caribbean vacations. Aruba jumps on the low-season bandwagon every summer, but I still don't know why. This is an island that gets three inches of rain in its wettest month (December) and has a four-degree deviation between the middle of summer and the dead of winter. There's no such thing as low season here. So visit now -- while they're pretending the weather sucks -- and use the money saved on a Balashi.NYC to AUA: $375 (Delta flies direct; from Philly, try US Airways)
HOTEL: Three nights at the Amsterdam Manor Beach Resort, above. If you can handle walking across a teeny street to Eagle Beach, it's one of the best deals on the island. A studio runs $159/night between April and December, and the decor is simple and inoffensive (no beachy-neon bedspreads). Order a rum something-or-other from the Tropical Beach Bar, dine on the sand at Passions, or get a quick bite at Mango's open-air restuarant. Or cook for yourself, since every room has a kitchenette.
EAT: If you love meat, do yourself a favor and eat a ton of it at Amazonia (near Palm Beach). For around $35, you'll get rodizio-style service until you beg them to stop. Mmm. By the way, chicken tastes so much better when it's wrapped in bacon. For a really cheap meal, grab a bag of plantain chips at any convenience store, or visit a roadside stand and try a meat- or fish-filled pastechi (usually around $2).
DO: Nothing. That's the specialty here. Or, if you must, spring $15 for a tube ride from one of the beach vendors. But don't put any faith in their safety measures. It's not a thrill ride unless you can actually get severly injured.
TOTAL: $904. Spend the rest on all the meals I overlooked in my churrascaria daze.
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