Sand on the brain.

Maybe it's because my beachy Sunday was rained out, but I can't stop dreaming about tropical hideaways. The emphasis is on "hide" at Bahia de la Luna in Nowheresville, Mexico. (More specifcally, the beach town of La Boquilla in Oaxaca; the website has helpful tips on how to find the place.) You can drive 40 minutes to enjoy civilization with other tourists, or you can just hang out and borrow the free kayaks and snorkel gear. The restaurant is under a palapa on the sand, but you can still get sashimi and ceviche. And even though your beach hut may be a tad rustic (right), it's only $77 for a double -- $65 if you go during low season. Not a bad deal.

Budget-friendly bungalows.

Overwater bungalows are invariably expensive. One exception: The Coconuts Beach Club, in Apia on the Samoan island of Upolu. Their fales run $349 a night -- about one-third of what you'd normally pay for a suite on stilts. That means the rooms are basic; you'll get a king bed, a stone bathroom, fab views and not much else. But it's $349 a night. At that rate, you could buy yourself some 1,000-thread-count sheets and Aveda toiletries to take along for the journey. Voila; instant upgrade.

If you have land legs, their treehouse suites are $239 and their standard garden rooms are $199. But I have to admit, there's a special place in my heart for Mika's Old Apartment, an empty room in the staff housing. For $60 a night, you can stay in what the hotel calls "definitely our worst accomodation." You'll be next door to the GM, who sings in the shower. And you can only book through the website, because "We would be too embarrassed to have a Travel Agent know that we are selling this room." I always appreciate truth in advertising.

Don't hate me because I'm Honolulu.

I'm a sucker for quizzes. I recently took a quiz called "What Breed of Dog Are You?" even though I am not a dog, have no intentions of ever becoming a dog, and don't even own a dog. (I'm a chihuahua, by the way. Because I'm honest, saucy, and intense. You know, like a chihuahua.)

So naturally I'm addicted to Find Your Spot, which helps you find your perfect home base based on important criteria like weather, culture, and budget. I think my love for excessive heat and big cities, combined with my tolerance for molten lava, is what secured Honolulu as a top spot. Other frontrunners were Charleston, San Bernardino, and Biloxi -- all of which will move up on my list of future travel obsessions, because we're so MFEO.

It's getting chili.

When I went to Rutgers, the on-campus Wendy's used to print out receipts that boldly proclaimed, "Wendy's chili is the staff of life." And I have to agree. But I'm going to extend that to any chili. Even Hormel vegetarian chili with beans.

If you feel the same way about chili, check out this amazingly brilliant and indispensable (I don't think I'm overstating) site from the International Chili Society. It lists every chili cook-off in the country, so you won't miss out on the best meats and peppers in your home state. Of course, if you're a fellow fan of the Hormel veggie with beans, keep in mind that pasta and beans are strictly verboten for competitors. You can't have it all.

$1,000 or Less: Islamorada

When you see a place like this -- where ex-presidents go to unwind and the poolside cabanas have plasma TVs -- you generally expect to whittle away your life's fortune. But if you can resist temptation from the tiki-hut spa, you may actually get out of here with some savings left over.

FLY: NYC to FLL $125

RENT: A car to get you to Islamorada and back via the Overseas Highway, a two-hour drive but a destination unto itself. An economy ride for four nights through Budget will set you back $96.

STAY: Four nights at the ridiculously pretty Cheeca Lodge & Spa. You really can't beat the fabulosity of their pool. Why hide in the cabanas? The rooms are lush too, with marble soaking tubs and pillow-top mattresses, but that only helps if you manage to drag yourself off these cool mini-docks. The best part? They know how to run a special. Most upscale hotels think package pricing means throwing in a bottle of champagne, doubling the room rate, and calling it the "Romance Package." Here, you can stay three nights at $219 and get the fourth night free. So classic!

DO: The $39 resort fee (per night) includes free use of the resorts kayaks and bicycles. You have to fork it over either way, so take advantage.

EAT: The on-site Atlantic's Edge restuarant is closed during summer low season, but the seafood's better (and cheaper) at local fave Bentley's, anyway. You can even BYO fish. Or if you love rodizio like I love rodizio, go to Braza Lena for salsichao and filet mignon wrapped in bacon.

TOTAL: $995. Okay...excluding food. But I'm not apologizing.

Award-winning sugar coma.

There is no such thing as bad chocolate. I include ancient chocolate buried under the sofa cushions in that statement, along with melted chocolate, dollar-store chocolate, and chocolate that's gone stale and developed those weird sugar-mushroom blobs all over it.

But good chocolate is goooood. And I guess Hilton knows it, because they recently held a contest to honor the best chocolate dessert at their hotels. The winner: Cappuccino Chocolate Delight from the Hilton Sandestin Beach. The yumalicious concoction has been added to the menu at the hotel's Sandcastles and Seagar's restaurants, or you can whip it up yourself if you're good with a mixer. I'm tired just reading this recipe; plus I'd rather have an excuse to go to Florida.

RECIPE:
1 slice: chocolate sponge
4 each: egg yolk
2 oz: sugar
8 oz: cream cheese
3 cups: heavy cream (whipped)
1 oz: Myers Original Dark rum
2 oz: coffee espresso
8 oz: Godiva white chocolate
1 cup: heavy cream
12 oz: Godiva dark chocolate
1 oz: raspberry puree
1 oz: mango puree
1 oz: granulated sugar

Whip egg yolk until fluffy. Cook two ounces of sugar to a soft ball and add it to the egg yolk. Melt the white chocolate with the coffee and fold it in the cream cheese and whipped cream. Arrange the sponge in a cake mold and soak the sponge with the rum. Pour the mix in the cake mold and freeze it.

Lodging in the final frontier.

I love a room with a view, and you can't beat the 360 views from a room at the futuristic Galactic Suite. Well, actually it's not too futuristic -- it's scheduled to open in 2012. Nor are the views really 360 -- you know, infinite blackness and all. But if you book a planetview suite (I'm just guessing on the terminology here), you'll get a nice view of the earth's curvature. I don't know if they'll give out free upgrades to honeymooners or loyalty program members, but I'd assume that a room without a view is basically as good as locking yourself in a dark closet.

Rack rates are $4 million for tropical-island training and a three-day stay in space. (Yep, minimum stays are strictly enforced.) But let's be honest. I don't foresee the earth's orbit becoming the new Bondi Beach. Once the billionaires and celebrities are over it, I anticipate plenty of empty rooms. Hello, Priceline!

On the downside, I bet the continental breakfast sucks.

No passport? No worries.

The passport situation has gotten so dire that I got a notice from the county clerk yesterday saying, "Look, you know that whole Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative thing? Our bad. We underestimated the popularity of Canada, and the current wait for a passport can now be measured in light years."

Luckily, my beloved doesn't expire again until 2014. For those less fortunate in matters of good timing, viva Puerto Rico! It's U.S. territory, so you can hop in and out with nary a worry. And it's not exactly a sacrifice, especially if you stay at the fabulously boutique-y Bravo Beach Hotel on Vieques. The hotel has been featured on the CN Traveler Hot List, but they still haven't jacked up their prices accordingly -- rooms, in all their iPod-dock-and-frette-linen glory, start under $200. The restaurant is actually a tapas bar and wine gallery, and they'll even pack you a box lunch for the beach. How warm 'n' fuzzy is that?

Improve hygiene, save the world, etc.

Hotel soap is the work of the devil. I suspect the key ingredients are cutting oil and talc. My favorite BYO suds right now: The Owl, from Gianna Rose Atelier, which may be the darn cutest $20 you'll ever spend; and Daisy Soap from Body Shop ($4.50), which makes you all squeaky-clean inside and out, since it's made with community-trade shea butter and the proceeds go to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Keep the toile.

I've been noticing a surprising formula lately: the price of a B&B room is indirectly proportional to the ugliness of said room's decor. By which I mean, the primo rooms are disasters of carved wood and gilded mirrors and seizure-inducing toile, while the cheapest rooms are generally understated and thoroughly inoffensive. It's like the less they spend on decorating, the less likely you are to stare at pink floral wallpaper and gold cherub statues. Take the Swann House (left) on Dupont Circle in DC, for example; the $265 Blue Sky Suite is pattern-mania, while the cut-rate Nantucket and Shanghai'daway rooms are minimalist and modern. Even the sea horse wallpaper is cute.

It's four o'clock somewhere.

There really isn't anything clever to say about tea: I like it. It's good for you. It goes well with assorted pastries. Although in London, it may as well be liquid gold. I mean, 36 pounds for afternoon tea at the Ritz? That's a hefty chunk of change for some smoked salmon and clotted cream. I don't even like clotted cream. A much better bargain can be found at the Bramah Museum of Tea and Coffee on Southwark Street, where you can get afternoon tea for a fully reasonable nine pounds. That includes cucumber sandwiches, a hot crumpet, and cake with your tea. If you'd rather skip the sammies and stick with sweets, a cream tea (scones, cake, and tea) is only seven pounds. You might even be able to afford dinner later!

It's almost morning in Iceland.

I can think of a few million reason why I'd like to be in Iceland right now. For starters, the temperature is only climbing into the mid-50's tomorrow. (Well, they use Celsius, so I guess it's climbing into the elevens.) Also, they're getting 18 hours of sunshine right now, which is fantastic. And last, I'd like to spend some quality time in the Blue Lagoon. It's $28 to get in, 100 degrees in the water, and they have a full menu of spa treatments. Their spa products are also available online -- but considering a bottle of algae body lotion is $61, you might as well just swing for the airfare, no?

Excess in Texas.

I could gain five pounds in San Antonio. Because even though I'd pay a visit to the Alamo and walk through the Natural Bridge Caverns, I know I'd spend the majority of my time eating my way down the Riverwalk. There are few things I like more than a waterfront pathway, especially one with Christmas lights and spicy food. My needs are simple.

First stop: Dick's Last Resort, part of a mini-chain of BBQ joints, for a bucket of ribs ($17.99 for a rack) and a Mile High Peanut Butta Pie ($4.99).

Next: Casa Rio, a 60-year-old Mexican restaurant with the famous (well, famous if you're a photo junkie) primary-colored umbrellas along the river. Keep it real with an enchilada platter.

And finally: A dinner cruise from Cafe Ole, which includes chili con queso, a monster fajita, and fried ice cream for $30. Margaritas are an extra $10, but they put Marnier in 'em, so that's a plus. Note to my local bartender: "Golden margarita" does not mean "put Cuervo in it."

Sleep off the calories at the Drury Inn on the Riverwalk...it's within rolling distance. For $139 a night, they even have a rooftop pool, but I fear I'd sink right to the bottom.

So many "train" cliches to choose from!

I've only slept in a train station once, and that was an accident. Look, if they don't want people sleeping in Grand Central, they shouldn't make that staircase so darn comfortable. Anyway, there is a place where you can snooze by the tracks without getting a rude wakeup call from station security. St. Louis' defunct Union Station -- the last train left in '78 -- is now a combination shopping center, entertainment complex, and Hyatt Regency hotel. Queen rooms start at $109, and the Grand Hall has been converted into a swanky lounge. With architecture like that, I'm not sure I'd ever leave.

This could be heaven or this could be hell.

I love yard sales. I rarely buy anything -- I think my last acquisition was a $1 accordion-style wine rack three years ago. But I could easily spend every weekend trolling sales. I love seeing what ex-treasures were downgraded to trash; like, why are you just now ready to part with that collection of 78's or that antique baby powder tin or that sequined wreath? That's why I'm obsessed with the 127 Corridor Sale, aka the World's Longest Yard Sale. And they mean "longest" in the truest sense of the word -- the goods spread 450 miles from the sale's HQ in Jamestown, Tennesee. The sale runs from August 2-5, 2007, so you only have a few days to tune up your car for the long crawl. But if you've been searching far and wide for a Donald Duck bobblehead or used steel-toe boots, this is your place.