I'm sure your $100 bottle is nice too.

I just read that my favorite vino, the illustrious Two-Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's, was awarded top honors this week at the California State Fair Commercial Wine Competition. I feel like my firtborn just won a Nobel Prize. Well, except I don't have any kids. But I do have a soft spot for $2 wine, so I'm very proud of my beloved, grapetacular Charles Shaw 2005 Chardonnay -- although I think the awesome Shiraz should be allowed to borrow the gold medal on special occasions. Congrats, mon Chuck!

Blah blah blah...

I guess it goes without saying that I like to talk about traveling. And when I can't find anyone who'll listen to me, a travel journal comes in handy. I love this Travel Collage from Barnes and Noble ($10.36) -- you can't tell from the pic, but it has an accordion folder on the left for ticket stubs, brochures, receipts, stickers, and photos, plus a notepad on the right for worldly observations. Besides, it's cute.

This place exists.

Pictures of Zion National Park always look retouched, because it's hard to believe that something like this photo can actually just happen without any sort of digital manipulation. But, of course, it does look like this, and you owe it to the world to go see it. Especially since it's dirty-cheap. Entrance to the park only costs $25 for a week-long vehicle pass, so you'll have plenty of time to see it all. (Okay, so maybe that's not true. But you will have plenty of time to do enough hiking to deplete a year's supply of Advil.)

The Driftwood Lodge, two miles from the park entrance, has deluxe queen rooms for only $119 in the summer. But my money's on the Cliffrose Lodge and Gardens -- $139 for a king, 200 yards from Zion, with a waterfall jacuzzi. Pop some ibuprofen and meet me there.

Amsterdam, sans savings account.

Planning a trip to Amsterdam can cause a not-so-mild case of sticker shock, especially when hotels like the Amstel InterContinental are asking $648 per night for a standard king. But it's also the kind of place you could go on a whim, as long as you're willing to turn down the turndown service and forego the pricey financial district. Luckily, in Amsterdam, that's hardly a sacrifice. Some alternate choices: Hotel Hoksbergen (left), on a canal in the Singel area, runs $123 per night for a double. If that's still not close enough to the canals for you, you can always rent the PhilDutch Houseboat (right) for $165 per night. Just pack Dramamine...and go easy on the beer.

My heroine!

I am obsessed with Amsterdam, not for its brown cafes or Red Light District, but because I absolutely must see the annex where one of my all-time favorite books was written. Obviously I'm talking about Anne Frank, but not the version we all read in middle school, which was heavily edited by her father to fit the stardards of decency in the '50s. I'm talking about the fabulous unabridged Definitive Edition, wherein Anne rails against her housemates, lusts after Peter, and is generally bored with attic life. Oh, and she's actually funny. Read it again, I'm serious. Anyway, the Anne Frank Huis on Prinsengracht just got better, with the addition of extra family letters and photos courtesy of Anne's cousin Buddy Elias. The museum is open all year (with later hours in the summer) and costs only 7.50 Euro for admission.

Check back for a post on Amsterdam lodging...

Keep your passport cozy.

My passport is one of my prized possessions and the best $67 I've ever spent. Therefore, it deserves to travel in style. I get a surprising number of comments on my purple suede passport holder from (bored) airport security staffers. But I'll concede that this Diarpell Passport Case ($14.95, BN.com) is equally cool. I'm a sucker for antique maps, so...'nuff said. It even has an inside pocket for your license, credit card, or ticket stubs.

$1,000 or Less: Ireland's Dromoland Castle

I'm not a big fan of vacation packages -- I've often found them to be more expensive than searching for air and hotel separately. But I'll make a big, big exception for the Sceptre Tours of Ireland. So big, in fact, that it lands them on my $1,000 or less list.

The package includes:

- Air from NYC to Shannon

- One night in an airport hotel

- A four-night voucher for farmhouse B&B's

- One royally fabulous night at Dromoland Castle

- A stick-shift car rental

-Breakfast daily

Now, keep in mind that a single night at Dromoland is 195 Euro and a ticket to Shannon is around $575. Ready?

TOTAL: $979

Slainte!

Why you'll never find me in first.

A recent argument about the virtues of first class reminded me again why I adore coach. I defy anyone to find one thing about the front cabin that justifies a $1,000 upcharge.

Let's start with a little analogy. Last week, I went to a hole-in-the-wall, counter-service Mexican restaurant, where I was charged $15.95 for a plain ol' burrito served on cafeteria trays with plastic knives and a tiny cup of salsa. Total rip-off, right?

Okay. Now let's discuss the people who pay $1,000 for the following perks:

1) "Better" food, which is still inarguably nasty airline food served with plastic utensils. The difference is, this fine meal just cost them the same as their ENTIRE food budget for the rest of the trip.

2) Shorter check-in lines, thus saving about 15 minutes which they will instead spend watching CNN in their plastic chairs at the gate because first class still takes off at the same time as coach. Unless, of course, they choose to wait in the...

3) First class lounge! Or, in essence, a fluorescent-lit nightclub with a cover charge fifty times higher than Ghostbar. But hey, there's beer, which may or may not be free depending on which airline they're flying.

4) Wider seats. Because nothing is more relaxing than a leather seat that sort of reclines while sharing a dry, airless cabin hundreds of strangers.

5) Champage, maybe. Although again, they may just get orange juice. But if they're on one of the luxury liners that serves bubbly, they can rest assured knowing they paid a cool grand for that glass. Sip, don't gulp.

Overall, I think the first class cabin is the biggest tourist trap in the world. Why spend hard-earned money -- or valuable points -- for an extra few inches of leg room? (Especially considering the average American spends 60 hours at their not-so-comfortable desk to save up that much money.) Save the cash and extend your vacation by a few days. Trust me, even the rockiest beach is more relaxing than a recliner in business class, and even the lousiest dive bar beats a $1,000 glass of cheap champagne.

$1,000 or Less: South Beach

The sweltering weather today is reminding me of my long weekend in South Beach, a trip I can only look back on in memories...namely because the film in my disposable camera melted from the heat while I was on the beach.

SoBe has a reputation as a swanky paradise teeming with celebs, but let's be honest: It's really just a Florida beach. And that means it's budgetastic, as long as you don't feel the need to lodge at the Delano with all the other star-chasers. Here's the itinerary for a long weekend of indulgence:

NYC to MIA: $150 (Northwest and American usually have the lowets fares for this route)

HOTEL: Stay 4 nights at the Clinton Hotel ($132/night for a queen), a boutique hotel on 8th and Washington. Translation: Two blocks from the beach, but right near the clubs. The staff is friendly, the bar is chill, and there's even a pool -- a SoBe rarity. Crank the A/C, snuggle up in the down comforter, and forget it was 110 degrees on the sand.

EAT: Grab any meal you can at News Cafe, where Versace used to dine almost daily. It's one of the best food values in the area, with the absolute perfect people-watching location. My faves are the ham and brie panini ($11.50) and the salty, salty, salty margarita ($7.50...I think). Also try Pizza Rustica on 863 Washington.

DO: Sleep on the beach all day (free). Party all night at Opium, B.E.D., Mansion or Prive ($20 each for cover). If you have time in the middle, head for the stores -- there's a reason I left a little breathing room in the budget, you know.

TOTAL: $777.

Excuse me, which way to the turnpike?

So, this weekend I got hopelessly lost on the way home from Lancaster, which taught me two things:
1) No one should ever drive on Route 10; in fact, that road should not even exist.
2) I need a GPS system.

So far it looks like the best value might be the Magellan Roadmate 2000. It gets great reviews, and the price is right -- I saw it on Buy.com for $159.99 after a rebate. A slightly pricier option (relatively speaking) is the Garmin StreetPilot c330, which gets rave reviews and goes for $249.99 on Amazon. Both are pretty low on the frills, but I don't need frills. I just need to get the hell out of Pennsylvania.

400 days and counting!

I am in love with the Olympics. Every two years, my world stops turning for a few weeks and I watch every event and cry at every medal ceremony. I also usually go through a brief phase of vowing to become an Olympian myself; I've considered gymnastics, cycling, archery, and most recently speed skating as possible avenues to Olympic glory. But given my questionable athletic prowess, a west-bound plane seems slightly more realistic.

Three reasons to catch the summer games when they come to Beijing in exactly 400 days:
1) It's a good excuse to go to China. Expedia only books ten months out, but this website helpfully marks the hotels that are currently taking reservations for August 2008.
2) Ticket prices are crazy low -- $13 for some events, and only $39 for the Women's All-Around Final in artistic gymnastics -- pretty much the holy grail of events.
3) The stadium looks like a crazy Picasso donut. Mmm!

I could get used to this.

I feel a bond with Penang, for two reasons: One, it's the name of my favorite restaurant in Philly's Chinatown, and two, someone told me once that I seemed "like someone who'd been to Malaysia." I'm not exactly sure what she meant; I'd like to believe she meant that I seemed worldly and exotic, but let's face it, she was probably just calling me a bargain whore. But you can do worldly and cheap at the beachfront cabanas at Mutiara Burau Bay, which start at $63/night USD. (I'm hoping that when the website promises "almost comfort," they actually mean "utmost comfort.") Bonus: I think the Sampan Bar, in a converted boat, is one of the coolest beach bars ever.

Shoes.

These may be the cutest sandals I've ever seen. Or maybe I'm just blinded by the $11 price tag. Either way, you'd better believe that the Kino Sandal Factory on Fitzpatrick is going to be my first stop in Key West. Well, maybe my third; conch fritters and a margarita will have to take top priority. But then, the sandals.

Wigging out.

Ever wanted to sleep in a wigwam? Neither have I. But you have to admit that these wigwam motels are way cooler than your average Econolodge. Apparently this used to be a booming chain in the heartland, but all that remains are locations on Route 66 in Southern California, near Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, and near who knows what in Holbrook, Arizona. The prices are pretty retro -- A/C and a "remote color cable TV" for $45-80/night, depending on location.

Fly away with me.

In about 15 minutes, the grass-skirted man of questionable sobriety will ride this Purple People Eater off a pier and plunge into the chilly Baltimore Harbor thirty feet below. As far as free entertainment goes, it really doesn't get much better. Last October's Flugtag -- a Red Bull-sponsored event in which participants vie for the chance to pilot doomed human-powered flying machines -- was so fantabulous that I briefly considered driving out to Nashville for the June '07 event. (Among other highlights, a family shoved its matriarch off the pier facedown, whereupon she executed the most painful and presumably unintentional belly-flop in history. Woohoo!) But this may be one of those things where you benefit from the element of surprise (and horror, and pity). The ongoing event stops in Austin on August 25th; check the website for location updates.